Friday, December 11, 2009

Missed Anniversary

Anniversary I was just thinking back about how long ago the seizures started and realised that it's been just over a year since I started having them. It somehow seems much longer than that.

In all that time a lot has happened. Everyone now seems to be able to deal with things a whole lot better. I guess it's a case of having to. Mum and dad seem to be able to cope with all the pee and slobber... and the occasional poop that's involved in having a seizure. It's not a pleasant experience for any of us, but once you accept it then it becomes part of the package, life goes on.

Loosing a bit of sleep each month for dad isn't great, but then having a job that's flexible enough to cope with working from home and taking me into work for the vet visits is a huge benefit. Without it I'd be on my own to go through these seizures. Coping wouldn't be so easy then.

So a year in and we're no better or worse, so we have that to be thankful for.

As I started writing this we started going through a big cluster. It made me stop and think some more. This seems a particularly bad cluster were going through right now. So far it's been going over three days with relatively long intervals between seizures. It's a really, really crap few days.

Looking at the sequence of posts you can be sure that it reads like we stopped the medication and then the crapola really hits the fan. This isn't really the case. I've been off the medication for at least three months prior to this and gone through prior drug free clusters too. I'm sure it is just because we decided to put in writing that we'd stopped the medication that it seems coincidental.

Each time we go through the cluster dad racks his mind about starting the drugs again, but ultimately the seizures were there with the drugs too. It's just when the seizures hit, it really is bad times and this one just seems especially so.

It's hard to stay positive during a cluster. Both mum and dad considered putting me back on the tablets, but that would be wishing for a miracle I think.

Stairs Well, we've finally got a day on the clock without seizure. Mum was off work sick with a cold yesterday and apart from me being clingy, no incidents. Up until the evening I was still scared of the stairs. Even mum tempting me with chicken didn't convince me to go up. Eventually after dad got home I cautiously followed him up without any cajoling at all, he just called and I followed.

Looking back at the actual history of seizures this last cluster is one of the worst, but there have been many others very nearly equal in duration and number. So it really is a case of things looking blackest whilst in a cluster.

Let's hope next month is further away and an easier time of it. Whilst that may be what we hope, what we wish is that it never returns - but reality is likely to bring us to Earth with a bump!

1 comment:

  1. I find myself looking for answers, any answers, when in the midst or closely following a cluster of seizures. Heck, I've only partially reduced one of Fosters meds (pheno) and I question that move each time he has a seizure. It's natural to second guess ourselves.

    The thing that Roxy needs most and is receiving abundantly is love. I read your posts on this last cluster series and can only hope that we would respond so well. Thank you for sharing the bad as well as the good here.