Bouncing Back

After a terrible weekend it looks like we're through the worst of it. I'm still a bit hyper and my toilet training hasn't fully returned - a mop and bucket always on stand by. But the usual signs of getting it together showing themselves. The biggest tell of them all is going upstairs, which I did at 5:30am this morning, after I'd woken dad up with a bark to let me out to the toilet. I followed him up about five minutes later.

Start the New Year with a Biggie

Well the first cluster of the new year turns out to be big and nasty. Started on Thursday with a few seizures, then into early Friday morning with a couple more overnight.

Again there's something different going on. After the thrashing and weeing and dribbling I'm still in the seizure but now my teeth are chattering like I'm cold. I'm all stary and the muscles on my head are pulsing like I'm chomping without opening my mouth. I'm sure if Dad had let me up I'd go off all pacing around, but he makes me sit and lie down until it's over and I calm down enough to pretty much sleep it off.

But on Friday we got big seizures about every hour and they were usually triggered by some event like the kids or mum coming in and I'd stare at them and go into seizure. Early Saturday morning I must have had one in the night as the kitchen was covered in wee, poo and water from my bowl. A lot of tidying up needed. But on Saturday they seemed to have stopped, but left me with quite some issues.

I couldn't stand up easily and when I did it was like I either didn't know how to walk or it was like trying to walk on a ship in a big storm. Legs all star-fished out and trying hard to keep my balance. So most of the day dad left me lying down in the front room. Every so often he'd make me stand and go to the toilet in the garden, which wasn't easy with the ground all moving about.

Sunday things are definitely better. I can stand and walk around much better, but it's like everything is new and strange to me. Dad took me down the park for a bit of a walk. I spent the time sniffing the grass like I'd not seen it before or standing just catching the wind in my face. We didn't walk far, just enough to get some air and get my legs moving.

I'm still far from being myself, but I'm sure I'll get there over the next week or so.

Been a Long Time Coming

Just over a week ago I surprised everyone by having a seizure. Well that in itself isn't a surprise. The unusual thing was that it was a one off. So we were puzzled and waited for the rest of the cluster to catch up as it always does.

A week went by and nothing! Dad even went away to a concert (Excellent Concert - Stone Sour at O2 Academy Brixton) which is usually a sign that he's off work and it's time for the cluster to come out.

Well today it's caught up with me. Mum was off work today and spent the day cleaning. So that's the cue for slobber and pee everywhere and the seizure monster gets released. I guess at least it's before Christmas so we might stand a chance of it all being done with long before the holiday.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Big Walkies.

Nothing really big going on at all. Haven't posted on here in a while, which again is a good sign. No seizures to report - so life is good.

Dad took me out today and I thought we were off to the woods. But instead we stayed local and went for a walk around the canal. I think it was a bit too far though as on the way back I was walking at a snails pace. Now, since I've been home I've done little else but sleep - oh, apart from eating dinner that is.

Back to the Vet

After the vet phoned dad with the results of the blood test - no big surprises, the KBr and Epiphen levels are well within the therapeutic range. The vet also said she was reluctant to increase my dosage on either drug as I'm taking a relatively high dose already. The risk is we then start getting negative side affects that outweigh the required effects of the drugs anyhow.

So the outcome was another blood test. This time a more general set of test to investigate liver and kidney function. Just to be sure that they are metabolising the drugs properly to make sure that even though the drugs are in my blood that my body is making proper use of them. As the vet is otherwise at a loss as to why the drugs aren't as effective in seizure control as she thinks they should be.

So we got there in plenty of time even though dad left late. When we saw the vet it was the same routine. They took me away from dad and off into a back room to take the blood. They had some trouble getting enough as they wanted quite a bit for these tests. So they took some from my neck too. So I have a nice bandage on my leg for an hour and a shaved part on my neck.

I'm sure dad wonders why they take me out the back to take blood, maybe he thinks they're vampires?

Edit: Here's what they shaved on my neck!

At the Vet

Blood test day!

We got there in plenty of time and sat in the waiting room, which was pretty empty. Dad weighed me (50.4kgs) and the chart on the wall said "Is your dog the correct weight?". Looked up R for Rotweiller and is has Male 50kgs, Female 38.5kgs... hmm, do I look fat? No way am I 10kgs+ over weight.

Whilst at the vet I lay on the floor waiting, behaving as good as I always do. A young lad of about 8 years old showed  an interest in me and dad said he could come say hello and that I was friendly (if his mum was OK with that). He came over and gave me a great big fuss. I lay my head in his lap and rolled onto my back whilst he stroked me. Who's the big bad scary Rottweiler then?

I think the vet must have a special note in dad's file, like "Smart Arse", or something. They were really nice and made doubly sure they explained everything - it's only a blood test! The vet bill is itemised to death too. I suspect because he complained about never getting the results.

Here's the items on the bill, each with individual prices, have they been reading my blog?

1. Battlab Bromide
2. Phlebotomy Procedure
3. Courier Collection
4. Lab Consumables
5. Interpretation and reporting
6. Battlab Phenobarbitone Levels
7. Courier Collection
8. Interpretation and Reporting
9. We will 'phone' you with the test results

So does that look like a sarcastic invoice or is it just me? lol. Not that we're bothered how it is meant, we're only interested in the results and how they are interpreted. For all that it came in as expected to the best part of £85 (£28 worth of interpretation, the rest in lab fees etc.)

But remember dad's a smart arse? Well the thing is he remembered when we got home that although they have the blood and they are going to interpret and report - they didn't ask when my last dosage was, so how are they going to know how to interpret the results without that important bit on information? It wasn't done deliberately as some kind of trial, dad just didn't think about it until tonight. I guess we need to call them and give them that info.

It's Monday!

Yes it's Monday, so what's all the fuss?

Well if I were to say I was writing this from upstairs... could that be a clue? Well upstairs until today has been a scary off limits place since the seizures. Going upstairs on my own is a sign that things are pretty much back to normal!

Dad got in from work and made a fuss of me. Then went upstairs to change. When he was up there I simply followed him up on my own with no encouragement.


Acting the fool today, so I must be about there.

Being Positive

Well I guess after posting five times so far this week I think it's only fair to finish on a positive note. The days prior to today have been full of woe and we can't leave it like that.

Today we went out into the woods and did a short circuit as dad was walking pretty slow and taking his time, I guess he's still tired. He also took a lead with him, which he hasn't done for many years as he doesn't get lost anymore and never usually goes far. He let me off the lead once in the trees and I had a great time just mooching about.

I'm not fully myself yet and that'll probably take a week or so to get there. I've lost my house training and woke mum at 4am with a living room that needed mopping and poop that needed scooping. I will find a corner to wee in, if no one notices that I need the toilet. But the mop and bucket never seem far away.

I want to follow dad upstairs, but they look like a mountain, so I'll stay downstairs for now. I like being outside and watching people go by and the strange thing is I don't give anyone my biggest barking, woofing and bouncing around type of hello as they pass just yet either - not even the postman! This is all typical of the after effects of a cluster of seizures and once I go up the stairs everyone knows that I'm back to myself.

Even with not being myself 100% I'm still a million times better than I've been all this week and that's worth being very, very happy about.

Idiopathic* Epilepsy is a debilitating and evil infliction. There's no rhyme or reason, it just is, and does what it likes at any time it seems. There's no trigger we can identify for it, unlike some forms where flashing lights or colours can trigger a seizure. So we just deal with it as and when. The horrible reality is that we'll never know how far is too far or how many is too many. This past week was again evidence that even in the darkest times there can be light at the end of the tunnel - which I have to smile about as I recently read "That light at the end of a tunnel is an approaching train".

It's understandable why some would have given in way before we have. It's a terrible burden and strain on everyone involved, emotionally, physically and psychologically... and sadly financially. But the worst part is the guilt. Not knowing if by not taking the tough decision you're making the wrong choice, or if by making it you'll have made it too early. It's just so very cruel.

So once more we just deal the hand that's dealt and smile and be happy for the good times we've had and the good times we're still yet to have.

*  Idiopathic is an adjective used primarily in medicine meaning arising spontaneously or from an obscure or unknown cause.

Winning

Following on from Yesterday dad and I got a good nights sleep. Maybe that has something to do with my Diazepam and dad's exhaustion. Still feeling spaced out like first day in rehab, but a whole lot better than yesterday.

Dad got up to give me the last of the Diazepam this morning and found I'd left mum a big pile at the bottom of the stairs (don't know why it was for mum, but dad didn't want it). This isn't unusual as after a cluster and I'm in recovery I lose some of my training and forget how things work. Like going upstairs right now is out of the question, and getting in the back of the car - my favourite place in the whole world - needs some help.

But the good thing about this morning was two breakfasts - winning! Dad gave me my tablets and breakfast, then let me out. Then when mum got up for work she gave me breakfast too, and I didn't waste any of it.

Later we went off to the vets and dad had to lift me into the back of the car. I couldn't figure out how to get in. At the vets he had to help me out to as it seemed awfully high in the air.

The vet checked me over and spoke with dad and we arranged to go back next week for a blood test. The irony of which isn't lost on dad, since the previous Friday he refused to have one done at our usual vets because a) they aren't cheap, b) no one reports any of the results and c) the medication hasn't changed since the last three blood tests.

So the vet was very nice and I really think they must hate the Internet because it gives everyone access to so much information. The vet said they could do blood today, but dad asked about the effect of the Diazepam on the results as "Diazepam increases the serum levels of phenobarbital" and Epiphen (phenobarbitone) falls into this category. So instead we're going back on Tuesday night.

The vet also said she wasn't charging us for this visit, which was nice as it really was a flying visit. In, quick listen to my chest, a chat with dad and out again in 5 minutes.

So things are definitely looking positive. I'm in my usual recovery situation, timid, a bit confused and slow, but as expected. This being the biggest scariest most stressful episode, but not unique - we still remember back to January 2010, when we thought the Epilepsy had run it's course then too.

At Wit's End

This has been a terrible, terrible week... and it's still not over.

Dad had to go into work today. Three days off already is a bit too much. Luckily Blaine was off college so was able to spend the day with me. Which is just as well because I know dad's been fretting about me.

Last night nothing had improved. Still fitting every 2 hours, but still coming out of it reasonably well. Tired, timid and restless. But then late on a seizure sent me over the end and meant I was scared of the stairs again. This meant sleeping downstairs alone, dad was just too exhausted not to get some sleep after 3 days.

I still woke him up four times in the night. Once with just being restless and clumsy, walking into walls and doors until dad come and effectively barricaded everything I could walk into. Then three times with seizures.

This morning I was in a sorry state and dad had to leave me with Blaine.

Blaine sorted out the 4 x 10mg Diazepam at 3pm and after a call from dad reported that I'd not had a seizure all day since the one at 5:45am. I was just exhausted and didn't trust my own legs. That's the problem with having tiled floors downstairs. With all the pee and slobber it gets very slippy and now I walk like it's a frozen pond about to crack, legs all star-fished out and very slowly.

When mum and dad got home, dad made sure I got up and went out as I was lying in a big smelly puddle of wee where I couldn't get the energy to stand. Dad sorted me, got me up and into the garden for a wee and a quick hosing down and shampooing to get rid of most of the smell. I even ate my dinner lying down in the kitchen.

Now I'm up and outside where the floor isn't slippy I'm gonna stand at the gate for a while and watch the world go by.

Tomorrow, it's back to the vet. Hoping I feel a lot better soon. This has been the biggest scariest episode to date. Let's hope it's over with.